OK – this is a whinge! Today my palpitations are driving me nuts! Frustratingly, yesterday I felt on top form. In fact, in the last week I’ve been running again on the road and managed three 20 minute runs plus a Zumba class. So why am I feeling like shit today? SCAD is a funny thing and there seems no rhyme or reason to the ups and downs of my heart’s behaviour. I look at people running and feel a sense of loss for what I could do in the past, but didn’t do often enough, and now of course, I just can’t do it. I would urge anyone who is fit and healthy to exercise now while you still can – make the most of your health and don’t take it for granted because it can disappear in the blink of an eye. Of course, I’m grateful to be as well as I am and not on the mortuary slab, but even so this really pisses me off! I may just put my running shoes on in a bit and see how I get on – walking seems to regulate my heart beat and might improve my grumpy mood too! Thanks for reading – rant over.
I wrote a few weeks ago about my fledging attempts to get back on the road and my desire to run down the country lanes again.
Well, all was going nicely until this week. I’d been running three times a week on the treadmill and thinking I could get outside at the end of this month.
My heart, however, has other plans! This week it’s been a pain in the neck with PACS (premature atrial contractions) and funny sensations which leave me feeling very mortal. So much so that I haven’t run now since last Monday and I’m now sitting here contemplating should I go to the gym today or am I dicing with death?
In reality, I know I’m unlikely to just drop dead, but the fear is still with me. I suspect I’m in a bit of a hormonal storm this week which is the likely cause but I’m hugely frustrated!
OK rant over. I think I just have to write off this week and start again next week with a reduced schedule then get back on track. Maybe I can make it down the lanes for Easter instead. I should be happy I’ve come this far!!
My heart has been pretty stable lately so I took the plunge today and upped my walk on the treadmill to a run. Whilst only a few minutes’ run, this is important to me for so many reasons:
1. My confidence, almost 4 years post #SCAD, is coming back.
2. It’s my first run for over a year, because although the first few months post heart attack I’d built up my running to 5k three times a week, palpitations forced me to stop, and I’ve felt like I’m going backwards. So does this mean there is light at the end of the tunnel? Are my palpitations finally improving?
3. If I can get going again I might be able to shift the extra stone in weight I’m carrying.
4. It’s given me hope that I can run in the country lanes again this summer. I’ve missed it.
5. I have something positive to focus on, upping the time spent on my feet each week.
6. It makes me feel ‘normal’. Fellow #SCADSISTERS will know what I mean!
I’ll keep you posted on how I get on!